Struggling with Life

It's been awhile since I've just written to WRITE. Blogging is something that I have never been able to get in the habit of (even though I absolutely love to talk about myself-- I'm so Oprah).
One thought that has been concerning me most lately is, "Omigod-- am I...a lib?!" Let's take a closer look at this question, shall we? I feel I have a close and personal relationship with Jesus-- but my days are trying to convert the world are over. However, despite my religious affiliations-- I support gay marriage (but despise homosexuals who define themselves by their sexuality.)
"Hi, I'm Jessica...I just happen to be straight" Well...maybe bi...it's up for debate.
It shouldn't be, "Hi, I'm gay and I just happen to be John Doe."
I support womens' right to choose yet I don't endorse abortion. I endorse a better sexual health education with endless supply of contraceptives to EVERYONE. Which gets me to this-- I believe pharmaceutical companies are the spawn of Satan. I don't believe in giving free money to lazy citizens; and I also don't believe that people CANNOT help themselves. I completely understand that as a upper-middle-class white female I was given a plethora of opportunities that I would not have received should I have been, say, black. I have no idea what it feels like to be black, Asian, Middle Eastern, Hispanic, etc. I know what it is like to be white. But given these opportunities, I have witnessed many people that embrace the fact that they're 'oppressed'. Instead of fighting it, they bitch about it. (Not everyone, mind you, and I can see that I'm kind of getting side-tracked so I'm going to change the subject.) I support equal opportunity and I think all people should embrace every opportunity given to them. Everyone in the United States is offered free education up until 18. I can imagine that I am naive about the concept of choosing between "working to survive" and "sitting in a classroom and therefor forfeiting working hours." But I am a TRUE believer that all power comes with education. I think that in Iraq, we should be setting up multitudes of schools to start educating the NEXT generation. There would, of course, be retaliation to the big bag U.S. coming in to teach those things that we find most important. But when it comes to the Middle East and radical Muslims-- I have come to realize that I don't think I will ever be able to understand certain aspects of their culture. With these Danish cartoons circulating around the world, embassies burning down, people getting threatened, murdered, fearing for their lives...it is hard for me to understand where all of this extreme hatred comes from. Maybe in the U.S. we are experienced-targets. We know what it feels like to have been made fun of. There have been political cartoons about almost everyone and everything-- and that's the great thing about tolerance. We know how to be offended without wanting to kill anyone. How many Catholics have heard a Priest/alter boy joke? I would hope that most of us are rational human beings. There's nothing wrong with being offended and feeling targeted. However, logically it would make more sense to break stereotypes by refusing to do exactly what the world expects of you. Well, let me rephrase. I don't think anyone expected the backlash in the Muslim world that these cartoons have caused. However, does it really come as a surprise? Some of me, remains holding on to ideas of the GOP-- I like the feeling of a country with good moral standing and an 'American Dream' mentality. I don't like the feeling of the U.S. being humiliated, bruised or damaged. (Then again, who does? Everyone, I hope, has SOME patriotism in them-- no matter what country they come from.) But where should these morals stem from? Certainly gay marriage does not fit in with stereotypical conservative views. And where does this put me? All I know is NEXT voting season I promise to be better informed. I think whoever the next President is, he's going to have a hell of a time cleaning up the mess the United States is in. But I also think his (sorry, but there's no way in hell a woman is going to get elected) main concern should be to reunite this country. As Americans, we suck as a divided country. Abraham Lincoln believed in the unity of the U.S.A.-- "A house divided against itself cannot stand." I just wish there was more peace in the world. I have a friend (the next Mother Theresa, I swear) who has spent her entire college life abroad. She's been to Malta and now she's somewhere in the Pacific. She's fighting for equality and womens' rights. Her motto for life is Ghandi's, "We must BE the change we wish to see in the world." When I compare her life to mine, I feel like whatever I'm doing is insufficient. Sure, I could go and run to Africa and help in some clinic-- or join some Habitat for Humanity program in South America...but I don't. Why? Because I'm selfish. I have goals for myself and my life. But in the long run, if I DO finish my entire education and become a teacher-- maybe I can make a difference in the classroom. I think it's a shame that in America we are a little isolated in that we don't study European politics or history as much as we study American. And yet while our own country's history and government is important, we're not alone in the world. The rest of the world HATES America right now-- why? The media? The war? Bush? Whatever the reason...they hate us. (Some of the hate is unjustified, absolutely...and much of the European youth that hates America has never even set foot on American soil.) BUT we need to look outside of American borders and see our influence everywhere else. I'll defend my country until the end. I love my country. But what I think my country needs is a little more unity. We hate each other. Why? And which line of the fence do I fall? Maybe I AM just one big naive white chick. But damnit, I hope twenty-one years of living a life rich in education, love and support would prepare me more than that. I feel like my life hasn't even begun to reach near its full potential. But I'm working on it..and I'm slowly opening my eyes. There's hope for me, yet.